Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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