if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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