Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize