Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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