I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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