I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
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