i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
