you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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