Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
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