seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
