this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize