D3 body, D1 cock
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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