he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Randomize
