I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
