Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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