I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize
