I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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