living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
