he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
