Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
It's blow job season.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Randomize