I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
