You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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