bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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