her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
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