This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
