Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
