I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
