worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
You dont lie about slip and slides
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
And then he peed in my hair
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