not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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