im drinking this country out of the recession.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
