PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
