this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
