I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
