Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
