tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
