is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize