is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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