They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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