Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
