U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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