giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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