I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
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