didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
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