his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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