You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I will be naked everywhere
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Randomize
