Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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