I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Randomize
