At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Randomize
