my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Randomize