Me. At least after what I've been through.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
