I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize
