my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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