Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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