i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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