somebody snuck up and got me drunk
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
i just made my gag reflex go away.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Randomize
