I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Randomize
