so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
