Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
