Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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