I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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