the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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