Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
